For many young musicians, ABRSM exams represent an important milestone in their musical journey. They offer recognition, structure, and motivation to progress. However, as parents, it’s natural to wonder if the process is going well, whether your child is ready, and how much weight these exams should truly hold.

Understanding the real purpose behind ABRSM exams can help you support your child in a more meaningful way — not just to achieve a certificate, but to grow as a confident and expressive musician.

1. The Exam Reflects Progress, Not Perfection

An ABRSM grade is not a judgment of musical talent. It’s a reflection of a student’s progress at a particular point in time. The exam tests multiple aspects of musicianship — not just how well a piece is played, but also technical skills, listening ability, and musical understanding.

Some children may perform confidently in lessons but feel nervous during the exam. Others may play well technically but lack musical expression under pressure. Both are normal. The exam result should be seen as feedback, not a final verdict.

Encourage your child to view the exam as part of their learning journey rather than a pass-or-fail moment. The real goal is improvement, not perfection.

2. True Learning Happens Between the Grades

It’s common for parents to think that quick progression through grades reflects faster improvement. However, meaningful growth often happens between the exams.

Each grade level introduces more advanced skills — new techniques, greater musical depth, and higher expectations for interpretation. These take time to absorb. Rushing to the next grade can leave gaps in foundation, which later affect confidence and performance quality.

If a teacher suggests waiting before the next exam, it’s not to slow your child down, but to help them grow more securely. A well-prepared student not only performs better but also enjoys the process more.

3. The Emotional Side Matters as Much as the Technical

For many students, the weeks before the exam can bring anxiety and self-doubt. Parents play a crucial role here. The way you respond can shape how your child perceives challenges for years to come.

Avoid focusing too much on marks or comparisons with others. Instead, recognize effort — consistent practice, resilience, and calmness under pressure. When children feel supported regardless of outcome, they learn to associate exams with learning and growth, not fear or stress.

Remember, music is both technical and emotional. A child who enjoys the process will continue learning long after the exams are over.

4. How to Support Your Child Effectively

Here are some practical ways parents can make a real difference during the ABRSM exam period:

• Create a calm environment: Encourage shorter, focused practice sessions instead of long, stressful ones.
• Listen supportively: Let your child perform for you without correction — sometimes they just need an audience, not advice.
• Reinforce consistency: Gentle reminders help maintain a steady routine.
• Trust the teacher’s guidance: Teachers understand the exam criteria and what kind of preparation builds confidence.
• Celebrate progress: Even small improvements deserve recognition.

These actions help your child stay motivated and focused — and remind them that learning music is about more than an exam result.

5. After the Exam: Turning Results Into Growth

Whatever the outcome, every ABRSM exam offers valuable lessons. Discuss the examiner’s feedback together. Praise what went well, and use the comments to identify areas for improvement.

If your child achieves a Merit or Distinction, celebrate their hard work. If the result is lower than expected, remind them that this is part of the learning process — even professional musicians have off days. What matters most is how they continue after the exam.

Encourage reflection: What did they enjoy? What was challenging? These questions help them take ownership of their learning journey and build long-term resilience.

Final Thoughts

ABRSM exams can be a wonderful tool for musical development when approached with balance and understanding. They teach discipline, goal-setting, and focus — but they are not the ultimate measure of musical ability.

As a parent, your encouragement and perspective make a world of difference. Help your child see the bigger picture: that every scale practiced, every performance attempted, and every bit of effort invested brings them closer to becoming not just a better student, but a more confident and expressive musician.